For those of you not familiar with the Duggar family, here's what you need to know. Jim Bob and Michelle are a couple from Arkansas who have become famous on their reality TV show called '19 Kids and Counting.' Yes...they have 19 kids (who all have J names!) Their kids are the most adorable, well-behaved, non-TV-watching little ones I've ever seen. I should also mention that Jim Bob and Michelle have grandchildren the same age as some of their own children. I admittedly have a small obsession with being annoyed by them.
So recently Mama Duggar was seen giving a speech to a group of women. The topic? The Seven Basic Needs of a Husband. I couldn't possibly resist sharing just a few of Mrs. Duggar's nuggets of wisdom for your reading pleasure. Enjoy...and try not to vomit.
1.) A woman destroys her husband's manliness by being financially independant.
Love is killed by self-sufficiency.
Um, actually...Love is killed by husbands who have ridiculously large egos and controlling tendencies. That's what I've always heard. Now listen, I am a SAHM with no personal income...but that has nothing to do with trying to boost my husband's manliness. It has to do with choosing to raise my kids full-time. And I can assure you, if I came home tomorrow and told my husband I got a job making more money than him, NOTHING would make him happier.
2.) A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God
given responsibilities. Husbands are commanded to govern their wives. God works
through a man's decisions - good or bad.
Translation: He's the boss. God says so. For the record...this is NOT how it happens in our house. If my husband tried to 'govern' me in any way he'd be voted out of office real quick.
3.) A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty. Discover
and conform to your husband's real wishes. Explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of
your submission to authority.
Since she REALLY seems to know what a man needs, are we all supposed to start 'submitting to our authority' by doing our hair like this now? *shudder* When it comes to hairstyles there's only one man who's wishes I will conform to. His name is Jaxson...and he's my hair stylist. (And I bet he would LOVE to get his hands on Michelle Duggar's head of hair.)
4.) Ask your husband to define your responsibilities. Ask your husband to tell you when you have
a resistant spirit. Ask for forgiveness when you do. Dispel a backbiting tongue by silence.
Husband: Dear, sit down. I'm about to tell you what your responsibilities are around this house because I'm not sure you're as smart, capable or important as I am.
Wife: Aww...that's great honey. Then when I feel like telling you to stick it where the sun don't shine, please feel free to point out my resistant spirit. I promise to bite my tongue (as I plot ways to poison your dinner).
*Note: this is not an actual conversation that has ever taken place in my house.*
5.) Expect Nothing and be genuinely grateful for each little evidence of your husband's love.
Seriously??? I'm supposed to expect NOTHING of my husband...and then after that I'm supposed to leap for joy if he does any little thing at all to show me he cares? Does this seem like a male-generated conspiracy to anyone else?
Don't get me wrong. I have respect for the fact that the Duggars have survived over 25 years of marriage and 19 children. That's a real accomplishment these days. They must be doing some things right because not one of their children has been involved in a juicy scandal...YET. But it scares me to death to think that she's off teaching these marriage tips to people across the country. Something tells me that poor Mrs. Duggar is secretly dying to straighten that hair, put on a little black dress, and go out for drinks with the ladies while her loving husband stays home and cleans the kitchen. But then again...aren't we all?